My brother had a stroke last year. He was a divorcee with no kids, so caring for him became my responsibility overnight (our sister already takes care of our elderly mum). I got him through hospitalisation and recovery (he is on wheelchair now), found him a helper (after 3 tries).
I’ve been shuttling between my house and his house, bringing him to the hospital appointments, renovating his house for his safety, training his helper, and countless other things. So recently I suggested something practical. He can sell his house and move somewhere nearer to me. Or we can both sell our houses and buy a bigger place and live together. He can get better care. I don’t have to run from one end of SG to another (I live in the east, he in the west).
But he got so mad with me. He thought I was trying to take his house and his money. He shouted, accusing me of having ulterior motives. The last time I went over, he yelled so obscenely that I just walked out. We haven’t spoken since.
My mum and sister talked to him. They say he will come around, that I need to apologise and forgive him. The divorce and stroke were hard on him, the house is the only thing he has left.
But it’s hard for me too, to put him before my own family for more than a year now. Why is it all about him? I feel like I am being gaslighted. Even if he comes around, I honestly don’t know if I can still care for him the same way I did.
Sorry for venting... I just need to say out loud that I’m mad and tired and resentful and hurt. No advice needed because every family is different, and to be honest, I am not in the right mind to make any decision now. Please just tell me what get you through when the person you do your best to care for turns against you. Thanks in advance for reading and replying 🙏🙏🙏